Downloadable as a suppository by a toddler poking a mobile phone, and available as a Podcast to sex-maniac Lib Dem Lords who thought they were clicking on pornographyRead more
Earl Haig gets up from his grave to bang the table and tell us you’ve not successfully organised enough death to properly understand Britain’s defence needs in the twenty first century.Read more
The moment they realise
you might succeed in changing
more than the occasional
I am extending the relief on brown leather
trousers and industrial strength lawnmowers
for fat couples with Anglo-Norman sounding names
in the better bits of Kildare for another five years.
To the enemas of liberty and La Republique
I say this: as President
I will construct a machine
to monitor the formation of your thoughts,
so we’ll know what you’re cooking up for us
before you’ve even gone to market to get
those screaming Tunisian chillies.
Our movement will be henceforth called
Death to Bruce Forsyth.